Awakening In Total Blackness

Summary to my NS...just the bits and pieces.

2011-04-22T05:09:00.000-07:00

With the first intake's ORD parade already around the corner, I'm getting my mind right to transit back to normal life and planning the way to clear the fog of uncertainties. My NS life has been on an exceptional positive note so far and I'm doing my best to keep it up. BMT didn't start so good but in Guards it gave me a grip on my own character, strengths and maintaining the mindset to never give up but know limits at the same time.

My best section commanders would be from BMT Rocky Hill Tekong namely Han Xiang and Saiful but my best PC and PS are from Guards. Current PC Chenghui and Plt. Sergeant Yeong Tah Yuen as they all are funny, friendly but firm and understanding characters. People who don't go by the book but still managed to keep things in order.

Toughest experience would probably be in Brunei where the landscape is so fucked up you wished you were dead before you move on from a break and the most climactic battle I ever had was in Malaysia fighting in the terraced plantation hills with the Sarawak Rangers during Ex Semangat Bersatu. For all you know it was raining bullets all around throughout that battle without a pause.

Seems like my section 2IC is signing on and all I can do is wish he makes the best decisions for himself. He's been the Battalion best soldier for 3 times and that's obvious he's in his own league. One of the most noisiest, fighting fit, hyperactive and funniest cockster in the battalion at the same time is my bunkmate and second closest person to me in my whole NS. The section I got damned into is the GAIT best section of the battalion and fate couldn't possibly be more precise than that. Just so if you want to know GAIT stands for Guards Advanced Infantry Training during which I was still in Tekong while they're doing it.

I'm able to read my body better now. Having awarded platoon best soldier between Aug/Sept, cleared 2.4km in 9.11 mins, 20+ chin ups and several other commando standard fitness which is still getting better considering I still have more than 5 months to go, are just a few among the achievements that I achieved and I hope so much to maintain when camp life ends. Not to forget, digging 3 shellscrapes in 3hrs hahah!. There's just one I still need to improve which is swimming. Yep, time to rule in the water.

It can't be helped but I envy my company and platoonmates who earned the Overseas Service Medal for helping out in New Zealand for the aftermath of its earthquake. It's not the medal that I envy but the thought of earning it without having to sign on! Ohh life's not fair...

From one Ending to another Beginning.

2010-11-27T23:55:00.000-08:00

One moment I thought I just set off to Queensland and next thing I'm sitting here thinking of how we're left with one last important mission to settle before everything will tone down. I'm worried not about my 2yrs NS but of how I'm going to catch up with all that I missed out sitting in front of the table studying. My mind feels so decayed I wish I could just rip my head and stuff all the books I ever read inside it just like that and snap out its knowledge.

And I found a new ambition and saw a side of me I didn't really know existed. Question is, I don't know the possibility to even out my multiplex personality and the way to achieve it with the kind of person I am right now. At any rate, Allah knows better.

Wallaby.

2010-10-28T03:39:00.001-07:00

The major event everyone's been waiting for next friday...mission in Australia. The place we'll be training is somewhere around Shoalwater Bay. It's the nearest to Great Barrier Reef although sadly we won't be given a chance to drop by there I think. From what I heard from my fellas the R&R activities was quite boring which I'm assuming it's 'plain' instead due to the lack of interesting sites. I'm just assuming cos I wouldn't want the R&R to disappoint as we're all about to go through hell for the training down there.

Not because it's gonna be a tough training but getting back to some really old school life. Not much about the tentages we'll be sleeping in but the toilet that is. Rather than flushing the shit down the toilet bowl we've to cover it up with sawdust instead and damn that sure is gonna stink. Plus, no tap water to wash your ass! Bathing will consist of using the dangling waterbag which we have to fill up and then unlock it slowly to let the water flow sufficiently enough but not too fast or you'll have to top it up again.

Too much trouble eh? I bet it's gonna be one heck of a life to live there.

Floorball.

2010-09-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the day I realize I can play a part within my section as a sportsman. Although I barely have any interest in any team-based games, my background in hockey during primary school didn't let me down. Well, my section owned once again as always with a goalkeeper that's like an Iron gate and experienced players that's as fast as lightning. I was originally on the bench like I always was watching them do their stuff but I later took the position on the front left wing and manage to strike a goal each on the semi and finals. Guess you all slaughtered the rest of the coy in less than a quarter of a day:)

So Close yet so Far.

2010-08-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

Been some hectic training this week. I've gotta give it to my section...the Best section of the Battalion. Running with a stretcher with 2 fully-filled jerry cans for 1.2km all the way is one bitch...yep I meant it almost ALL THE WAY. Flipping jeep tyres and dragging em and jerrycans on your back was so much exhausting fun. But I gotta say if this goes on a handful might overdo it and well...consequences.

I've been among the fit ones but I was never among the sportsmen. My section however, they performed above their best for soccer, basketball, frisbee and touch rugby in one day despite having tough training before it. The nature of me being not communicative serves as a threshold from being like the rest of them. Fit I may be but not a player in team-based games. I SUCK at ball games...well maybe not too suck. So I just sit one corner watching as they thrash in the goals for the above-mentioned sports.

That's just me aite...not too adaptive of course and still so grim.

Mentalist.

2010-06-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

At what point of time can a lie be so huge that it involves the majority of the world and to the extent of converting the believers? I kept pondering about this since the day I "woke up". At many times I thought I figured out the puzzle but nothing to a fixed point. Or it may not even be happening so soon and maybe my life could take a different turn any point of time. The possibilities I've listed in my head are nothing short of theories. But at least I've taken some precautions should it may or may not happen those ways...yeah I'm taking some really heavy precautions.

By the way I love messing around with people's minds.

Just got to Lance Kopek.

2010-06-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

Latest weekend burnt for guard duty. Luckily we got a later booking-in timing or I'd be mad endlessly.

The way of the conscript Army doesn't give you a choice on their laws. They expect you to believe in their core values which actually contradicts one another. They expect YOU to die for them in battle and put your orders before your family and faith. Who's the big boss here? The One who created you or them? Our ancient wars were fought to spread messages beyond earthly matters. Fighting over something that deals with afterlife is dealing with overall truth in life. Now the wars are waged over wealth, power or out of some political misunderstanding and the victims are the unarmed civilians.

My PC said we're not fighting for the government. That we're fighting for our people. Now where's our people's rights? When you get promoted why is the "On Government Service" on the envelope? I thought it's a service for our people? I'm just laughing my ass off!

By the way...I just got promoted to Lance Corporal last 3 days. Hooray for the pay but the rank is useless!

Post Exercise

2010-04-17T06:20:00.000-07:00

Glad it's over. A great yet bumpy experience though for a second trip to Brunei this time with the battalion. There was a lot of changes from the original schedule as things turn out differently according to time. No climbing Mt. Biang and no 'night' river crossing for my company.

Well, at any rate I got the job done without being too sloppy except once when all the stuffs in my field pack got wet after the first CWO(crossing of water obstacles). Blame on my perception of waterproofing but at any rate I learned to secure it properly with the second river crossing.

The food in Lakiun Camp was way better than the camp here and I get to revisit the same places I went during my previous visit which was the marketplace beside the river and the Mall beside Rizkun Hotel plus extending my exploration up til Centrepoint and having a great dinner there.

Off to Brunei this coming Tuesday...

2010-04-03T02:43:00.000-07:00

Whatever that's waiting for me there let's just hope it'll be a torturous but fun and adventurous learning experience. A couple of navigational exercise, climbing Mt. Biang, battle mission plans and river crossing of Sungai Biang which definitely has some Crocodiles loitering around(damn). Be back in 2 weeks insyaallah without foot rot and will be having a few days of block leave...woot!!!

Who says the Crusade has ended?

2010-03-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

Would you believe that all your life worth of entertainment spent is used to be waged a war against the goodwill of humankind? Every dollar you fork out is a handful of live and loaded cartridges given to people who themselves aren't even aware they're used as tools to destroy those who believe the same thing as you do?

They're soldiers who fight for their country and their passion with weapons and military tech has corrupted them unknowingly. Although some know their purpose...hatred towards your kind and your faith. Special Forces, Navy Seals, Rangers who are real life "ninja" assassins who people like me would hail as heroes. But among them lies the people I previously mentioned.

For those of you who are really keen to check out more on this just search on Blackwater now known as Xe(whatever it may stand for). They're Americas most well known PMC(private military company) lead by a former Navy Seal who believes he's waging a war on us.

I love surprises but most of all...I love to surprise people.

2009-11-21T17:51:00.000-08:00

Just the 16 and 24 km road march left then POP. I just thought it was an enjoyable ride so far. I don't know if I'm gonna miss BMT after POP cos well...I'm not so attached to anything or anyone other than the rifle and even so I'm sure I'll be getting more hands-on with it after POP insyaallah.

One of my essays for BMT entitled "Why must I serve NS?" was selected for consideration of best essay but I deemed it a bit too offensive and straightforward for the mainstream and thought it'll catch unwanted attention. I forgot to bring it back yesterday after guard duty to make and email the soft copy which I hope it's for a good reason.

That's all for now. I hope the world outside doesn't change too fast while I'm in camp cos I still in the process of getting ready you know...getting ready.

Tekong Resort....

2009-10-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's evening book-in around 1830. Talk about that 24 hr army timing I never get use to it until now. All has been fun lately. Getting 'tekan' has never been so much fun! 120 jumping jacks, 60 push-ups and multiple chin-ups on the go and I'm enjoying it. Also always loving playing around and hugging my SAR-21XD

Entering the Next Phase.

2009-09-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

Things have been doing quite well lately, I hope this puts me into a position for the next phase of my life. I fell previously due to inconsistence and for being too hasty in making choices, the wrong ones but I learn from them. Preparations for NS has been good if not great. I cleared around 3km within 15 minutes yesterday evening which is killer considering the fact that I started running only beginning of last week.

Somehow, I still can't get enough out of my hair...

Photos...though there's still a few glitches.

2009-08-31T01:05:00.000-07:00

With some slight changes in the New Post layout I can see Blogger is doing what they can to fix their stuffs but we're losing patience too. Been treasuring my long hair these past few days and going on cult photoshoots in our local mini-forested areas. You can see them on my Myspace profile page.

Ramadhan

2009-08-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

A single light flicker in the midst of that darkness. It's what I needed to make a change deep within...but it's still not enough. At least not to me. Right now, I'm just waiting for time to fall in place. There I'll be waiting, a new man by physical appearance. Still same inside but a little.

Ramadhan has come again and I'll still be celebrating Eidul-fitri insyaallah, in a different way. Wish the same to the fellas I don't know who're gonna be my bunk mates. Hopefully no overrated mats in there cause that will mean big problems having to fast.

Now it's been weeks since I can't post any photos here...urgh!

National Service, Natural Suicide!

2009-08-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

It came in at times when I'm unprepared. Got my enlistment letter from the mailbox last night after I got back from watching District 9. The movie's a pure amazing masterpiece, seriously. Makes Transformers 2 look like a movie made by amateurs for braindead retards without its action.

Anyway, I'll be off to Tekong BMT School 1 on the 14th of September. Gotta be prepared to say goodbye to my adorable long hair which kept me warm for quite sometime. Despite Army having lesser pay than Police or Civil Defense, it's the chance to taste gunpowder that I've always been looking for. Pity no AK-47:(

Looks like I'm not celebrating Hari Raya with my families and cousins but with bunk mates and Ramadhan's fasting gonna kill me! Nonetheless I'm expecting myself to be commando fit even if I won't get to be one. I just won't want to die in a war because our stupid government says so!

Told my DHL manager last night I won't make it to ASC so looks like I'll just be working till end of August maybe...

Realize the guilt.

2009-08-15T01:46:00.000-07:00

My real birthday is on the 1st of Muharram. Yesterday didn't mean anything to me except redeeming a free Double Choc Frappe from McCafe while on the way back from work. Really can't help if the speculation of Mcdonald's profits is used for Israel's military fund. You know, chocolates melt me more than the other way aroundXD

The sins I've gathered over the years brought me ridden with guilt. While they(kuffar) don't bother, I'm forced to swallow and realize my mistakes yet I couldn't gather the will to change and put a permanent halt to it. At least reduction of my overwhelming lust will help. Missing my prayers too many times and my heart speaks to me of its hatred unknowingly, often causing abrupt anger and voices raised.

Delay

2009-08-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

My switch to Airport DHL(ASC) has been pushed forward to 3rd September. Last minute schedule. Heh.

Proceed

2009-08-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

Been too quiet lately uh. Working part-time DHL and this is going to be my third week starting in the airport branch. Previously from Changi South, I feel kinda bad having to switch cause I've made some more new friends and getting comfortable with the environment. Basically it's sorting and some paperwork and also a test for your efficiency cause once the boxes come in you've gotta be fast. So many new things learn in a short time taking in different roles including even sometime in FedEx! Gotta thank them for the fun experiences and all the help.

Several new stuffs I ordered and just arrived consisting of cds and the new Die hard Havohej's brown vinyl which got sold out moments after I got my copy...Phew! Anyway if anyone of you have a mini-portable cassette tape player which you think won't be of any use, feel free to give(hopefully) or sell to me cause I'll be needing one to play my collection of old-school rare antiques. One of them is a new release from a BM band(secret!) which is hand-numbered and comes with a patch AND wrapped in a torn and partially burnt page of a bible! Mine's Genesis 24,25! HahahahaXP Long live the old school crap and c ya!

For those who enjoyed Transformers 2...

2009-07-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

I just need you guys to check out the information on this website (http://www.nicenetruth.com/home/2009/06/the-truth-of-transformers-2-esoteric-analysis.html). This ain't any scientific theories but something that has caught my attention on the movies coming from Hollywood some time/recently.

First and foremost, I'm not saying it's reliable or true but think about it. It's too much to be a coincidence with recent other movies giving off not just Egyptian/Pharaoh imagery and Pyramids but also carries hidden messages behind the roles of their characters and the story.

Other past movie examples I know of were Tomb Raider, The Matrix, Wanted, Watchmen and a few others I couldn't recall. Whether or not these have anything to do with the the One-eyed/Antichrist/Dajjal I cannot clearly explain but these things certainly ain't too far-fetched and what messages each of those movies carry about Zionism/Illuminati/Freemasonry is up to you to find out.

Me on the other hand, I don't mix the terms Antichrist with Dajjal due to their different source of origin. Whether it's bullshit or truth that's totally up to you to decide. Btw, I don't recommend believing it 100% because it's from conspiracy theorists who probably upholds a different faith from you and me.

A Night's Tale

2009-07-13T21:39:00.000-07:00

The orb is pretty obvious in this one. No big deal but the photo below is something else. It's not the orb that bothers but a dull white figure with long hair on the tree above me and another huge figure on the right side of the photo.

Back from Batam.

2009-06-28T22:05:00.001-07:00

This is my third time there and maybe thanks to the facilities the KTM Resort itself provide or the one who organized it, it wasn't boring at all unlike what I was expecting. Get to meet new friends with great personalities and the environment was quite beautiful although not well 'polished'. I rank this second to Bintan's Banyan Tree which I went a long time ago.

Watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen the first day it came out, alone. The movie was going on a perfect pace from the beginning until an abrupt ending after the great battle between Optimus and the 2 main villains. The forest fight in the middle was flawless and much much better than the end fight but either way both were bloody gorgeous eyeball-ripping scenes.

The main problem above all was depth of characters especially the new ones such as the Fallen himself were all too shallow. Worse still, the three Arcee's and Sideswipe had little to no introduction.

Recent KL trip...next Friday to Batam?! WTH!

2009-06-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

Okay where should I start hmm...a rather mid class hotel seeing that it doesn't have a swimming pool but buffet breakfast was all great. The photo above depicts the river in front of Masjid Putra. It's really a beautiful, clean and open place unlike KL and seriously it's much more beautiful than Singapore. Putrajaya is a whole town and garden by itself. We ate at Secret Recipe for the afternoon which faces the river. The only thing I'm not happy is it's the place where the goverment people live so well...you know.

We went through some of Malaysia's biggest Masjids(I don't like referring with the word 'Mosques') like Masjid Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur and also happen to pass by the famous Masjid Shah Alam(above) while on tour to see relics of the Quran and the art of Ancient Arabic Calligraphy. I must say I'm amazed and had no idea the task was this intense and detailed!(well I leave this part unexplained. Go find yourself if you really wanna know). We later did some shopping(I didn't find anything I'm interested getting except a Punjabi and a T-shirt) and lots of food. Owh yeah I forgot to mention about visiting a chocolate factory...it is my HEAVEN!!! Brought home a dozen packs or so of unique and different kinds. Heard of Curry and Chilli Chocolate?XD

I thought I'm set to get another job when we returned home but damn, I forgot about next week's trip on Friday to Batam this time with Dad's cousin side and He's already payed for the ferry tickets...shit! What about Doomsday 2 and watching Transformers 2 with my friends?! AAarrggh!!!

To KL in 2 days time for 2 days and 1 day in Malacca.

2009-06-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

Take it as a short period to free my mind and forget the hatred for this country and the people in it. It has always been fun going on tour with cousins from my mother's side though I would sometimes get the fool in me fleshed out. I just don't like one thing that's when my aunties or uncles ask what am I currently doing(school? Geesh!) and how I've been...I'm sure you people don't like it too.

I may have been kicked out of SP but I'm not planning on ending my education career without a diploma. Not unless in 2 conditions...if Singapore gets thrown into a huge crisis say like war or the world ends!

As for the fine, I had to borrow my mom for the meantime. Gosh I'm still fucking mad at that officer!...XD

A mix of good and...fucked up things.

2009-06-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

Resurrection gig was good just like previous Doomsday. Well, there's only to enjoy the music here nothing cult or anything as usual. The fucked up thing that makes my brain boil is this bunch of NEA officers at the taxi stand opposite Hougang Interchange!

Me and my fellow friend got caught by em littering cigarette butt and BAMM!!! there goes $300 slapped from each of us...fucking government slaves. Another shitfucking fact is one of the sheep fag resemble a matrep with similar attitude and another like a plump minah bitch. There was like 6 of them or so I think and we had no idea we're being watched...ugh feeling sick. Wished I could screw that fuckface officer on his forehead.

I am no saint. But they're animals still!

2009-06-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Do you love your parents? How much are you willing to sacrifice to pay back their efforts? Could you be a better person than your parents and ancestors? But the main thing is...do you even care about all this SHIT!?

So what causes a teenager to get corrupted into them?...Well, I refer to that term as "animals". Why not? Why can't I consider them animals? They prey on the weak and fear the predators(cops or other people of higher strength), unleash their lust and breed without consideration(even animals consider their responsibilities!). Some even add-on burden to their parents instead of becoming independent themselves(animals ain't like that for sure).

Your parents ain't loving people? You were tormented at home and bullied in school everyday? Humiliated for weakness or stupidity? Bad choice of friends? I think that's the lamest excuse for this creatures maybe because I don't let my feelings get in the way of my mindset. I went through those things I mentioned above back then. All that anger, hate and humiliation still lives in me but within control.

I guess that's the cure then. Faith, logical thinking and self-control. They'll be my cure...as they've always been to others.

Thoughts linger...but the sword gets sharper!

2009-05-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

My mind always drift to neverending possibilities before I sleep. I thought for the people I care, people I hate...and people I don't even know. Some weird things pop-up in my mind last night...about this "trend" probably the worst I've ever concerned about. It's been happening around me to people I know. Those who're close to me and those I don't even know well but still cared for...ignorant, selfish young parents and bastard childrens...and abortions.

Is it true about this trend being passed down through generations? As more spread in time, my friends whom I should be respecting are destroying the foundations of which I and many others especially among our ancestors stood for. My "friends" who pre-marital fucked and cared not for the consequences, only to enjoy for themselves and offering a rotten future for their offsprings...am I just gonna stand around and just give advices that'll be ignored and unheard or retaliated instead of keeping it in mind?

The real question is...why hate "mat reps" when your lifestyle is just like them? I hated them not mainly of their outlooks but by the way they bring themselves to those around them is no different from your own except for the violence and attitude. Shouldn't I hate you as well?

To me, if you pre-marital fucked and face the "side-effects/consequences" which you try to abandon, it won't matter if you have a degree til the ends of the Earth for you're of no good to others so don't try to act smart with your bombastic vocab and speaking a hundred different languages cos you're all the same!

This is not just to my "friends" actually. It's to our young generation of "ex"-muslim malays, javanese or boyans whatsoever who may or may never repent in the future...for I still await the day that'll change everything, Insyaallah!

Inhaling Death

2009-05-25T02:46:00.000-07:00

Corona Deluxe for the first time!

My first shot on a real cigar...Henry Winterman's Corona Deluxe. It's 100% tobacco! Heh, I'm taking my chances before I quit once and for all. It was shared between me, Fiq, Farhan and his brother Fir right before watching Night of the Museum 2 yesterday night at Orchard's Shaw Centre. The cigar tryout was my idea since we just got our salary.

About Night of the Museum 2 movie however...a waste to me. Damn it! I only managed to force out a few laughs and gags. A simple straightforward storyline not worth your 10 dollars and the movie not meant to be made. I intended to watch Star Trek but the timing was too late and also because well...major votes:( . Anyway, watching Terminator Salvation's this weekend or maybe earlier.

Owh yeah, about my second medical checkup last week, still got a Pes B L1. Should have gotten Pes A if not for my partial "colorblind". Actually I should blame on the bastard who arranged those color numbers! At the end of the IQ computer test as you all should know is time wasting, I left a "f*ck you!!!" on the Remarks near the end.

Long time no hear...

2009-05-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing much has been happening...at least not important to you. I'm planning to sign up for part-time security guard a few months before getting called up for NS. Well that's me...always up to tryout new things. Life working at Terminal 3 at night was always fun.

But every night I walk down the hallways of Basement 3, I've been wishing to see things beyond human like 2 of my fellas sighted...similar things on different occasion near Carpark 3B. They're quite spine-chilling and as I suspected, these things don't appear when you're prepared and thinking about them. Guess they can read minds eh? Anyway, I'm looking forward getting my ass caught off-guard by these ghostly bastards lol!

There are some rather "unique" events coming up that seem to mean alot to me more than my family members...a Malacca trip with my mother's side. Gosh it's been sooo long since the last one when I was a little boy...beautiful memories.

My BM/DM collection has been growing super-rapid like never before lately with some fucking unholy diamonds falling in my grasp. Several cds worth up to 80sgd and vinyls worth 200sgd+ when thrown on ebay. Yep they're THAT rare but more precious ones will be coming in which I'll letcha know soonXP

Supernatural?

2009-04-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

Probably the first obvious extraordinary photo I took...by accident.

I never have any extraordinary first-hand encounters with the third world. Been wishing I had for so long already. There are some minor experiences long ago where I get to see two of my uncles from my father's side almost got possessed on one of the nights during the first week my grandfather passed away...I think, cause I was too young to recall accurately when it happened. Another was about a white cloak-like figure passing by outside my room towards the toilet which was soo fast I thought I was imagining it...was I?

This photo was taken months ago in an isolated bungalow by me while ghosthunting with Marc, a friend of mine. He was right beside me when I took it "anyhow". What you're seeing is a corridor which is actually pitch black lightened up by my phone camera's light and brightened a bit more on my computer. That corridor is supposedly empty so who's that white figure? I soo fucking swear this photo is directly straight from my cam. NO ADDITION whatsoever except slightly brightened for clearer view. It's up to you to believe it or not but you can actually see a face on top of the white shape if you zoom in!!!

To Me, This is The Face of Love

2009-04-13T02:12:00.000-07:00

Familiar to me. Not one but several.

I watched Fast & Furious 4 last three days when it came out. Yeah I know it's the best of the 4 FnF in terms of race sequences and storyline but the lifestyle influences it portrays never changed. At many segments the cameras seem to highlight the parties, sex, gangsterism, money and girls...especially GIRLS.

This is no small thing that I'm worrying about. What's happening to our malay youngsters here in Singapore is almost the same thing that's portrayed by the black and mexican people in these movies. It's not like I really give a fuck if most of these badboy wannabes damn themselves for the "cool" reputation but it's the exploitation of women that I'm mostly mad about. I used to be from ITE and no doubt, many of the ladies there don't seem to lookout for the good characteristics in men but rather the "cool" factor. No wonder virgins are very very rare these days. Maybe, I'd take a part-time trip to there again to just get my Higher Nitec along with full-time graphic designing in NAFA after NS due to my time and little effort wasted in Poly.

Anyway, I saw this face on a poster ad featuring women's jewellery early this year at City Hall MRT. I have no idea who this model is but I've seen and known quite a few locals with resemblance of this (most)beautiful face I've come to yearn and love for some years now. I cut this one out from a photo coincidentally taken by Han(many thanks! but no thanks on your face partXD) of the ad. To ladies, if your face resemble that, there's a chance I'd fall for you at first sight(no joke)!

Two Worlds Apart in One

2009-04-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

This life I live is intertwined between two different paths that is full of confusion. I managed to come up with foundation for my faith as a muslim to coexist with the very thing that has become part of my life. Metal.

Being a fan of the cult and sticking to my faith is no easy task. For most people they're likely to be influenced by their friends to the Sex, Beers, and Rock and Roll way of life as it's heavily tied to the culture. I consider them part of the trend. Plus with Black, Death, Thrash and its fusions being my most favourite from the rest of their more decent counterparts, I have problems with its common basic ideals that were tied to it mainly Anti-Christianity/Religion and Satanism. This things were built as the most common fundamentals of Black metal especially.

However this does NOT apply to all bands and followers of the cult as most Death metal bands heavily focused on violence and gore while many several bands of Black metal are themed upon Nature like Wolves in the Throne Room, Metaphysics like Deathspell Omega, Depression like Xasthur and even outer space like Darkspace. They're well-known classics in the underground and a household for many kvlt fans of Black Metal.

For me, let's just say I dig into even deeper well-hidden stuffs many metalheads never heard of and the bands being no matter how Satanic and evil like Mystifier, Blasphemy or Qaballah-followers like Ithdabquth Qliphoth doesn't stop me from having them on my list of favourites. Even Satanism have multiple different paths and each with different foundations and objectives and so does the bands too. Swedish Black/Blackthrash founders Bathory focused on Satanism on their early days and then Viking. This shows that Satanism isn't a primary pillar for Black Metal and believe it or not, I know of a muslim one-man Depressive Black metal band from Afghanistan if I'm not wrong.

You might think I'm being a hypocrite by wearing a black shirt bearing an Antichrist symbol on it but there are some things I want to point out first. The cross be it straight up or inverted doesn't mean anything in Islam just like a "t" and plus Isa wasn't crucified but brought up to heaven in Islam. The only thing the cross meant to Islam was the betrayal of one of Isa's students but it resulted with the student himself who got crucifed by the Romans.

The Antichrist in the Christian Bible is referred to as Dajjal in the Quran. The word Antichrist itself represents Anti-Christianity but since Christianity is corrupted by the Romans and the Bible which was originally Injil was edited to countless multiple versions, shouldn't the word Antichrist refer to someone who anti-Christians and its religion and not Dajjal as Dajjal is against ALL religion and not just Christianity?

The primary theme for the three extreme metal genres have always been about war and bloodshed. It is war inside your head(as mentioned by mainman of Nargaroth) be it for good, evil, extremism, peace, destruction, suicide and so on. But, nobody goes through as much war as the muslims especially in the Middle East who lack resources and sleep in a battlefield with bombs blowing and bullets flying around them and watched the shredded bodies of their children lie around. It has been a part of their neverending struggle against the greed and cruelty of Israel and portrayed as "terrorists and extremists" by Western media and therefore I consider the way of Islam more "metal" than anything else. The way that was portrayed evil by the opposition and media. The way that bears strength and resistance from tyranny. I'm not talking about the music here. This is the way of life we muslims bear upon our shoulders that the Westerners only managed to make music about.

Recent Damnations...

2009-04-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

With clenched fist and red eyes
Held my breath, waiting for the sign.
Ready to dash to where my fate lies
Even facing death I'll still be fine.

- Nekröthor March 17 2009 4:00pm

I fell into a deep dark pit
but couldn’t see what went wrong.
Many paths but none seem to fit
Still, darkness is where I belong.

- Nekröthor March 18 2009 10:40am

Making my way out of the hole
left my mistakes in there to rot.
Another chance to clear my soul
and prepare for the second shot.

- Nekröthor March 24 2009 1:20pm